Lastest will and will

here is the latest. As I said I'm really struggling with Shakespeare's dialog, the diction mainly.

ACT I
Scene 1
William Faulkner sitting at a large table, writing
furiously. In a restaurant.
FAULKNER
(Mumbling to himself as he is writing)
Window and doorway and signboard each in its ordered
place. Excuse me waiter!?
Enter WAITER
WAITER
Sir?
FAULKNER
I have just completed my finest manuscript yet. I
believe I shall call it Soldiers' Pay!
WAITER
Oh, a war time story I see my sir.
FAULKNER
Why, indeed good lad.
WAITER
I also am a student of Literature my sir. Nothing
pleases me more than a study of the greatest writer to
ever grace the earth, Sir William Shakespeare.
FAULKNER
Oh is that so, you believe Shakespeare to be the best
writer, ever?!?
WAITER
Why indeed I do sir. Who else has withstood the test
of time, endured centuries upon centuries of scrutiny
to still survive as one of the original greats. You do
know, sir, I assume, that much of Shakespeare's work is
the bases of modern literature today.
FAULKNER
Dare you say that people are copying his work and
passing it off as their own today?
WAITER
Why, sir, to a certain measure, yes indeed that is
exactly what I am saying.
FAULKNER
(A bit foul tempered due to the WAITER's
comments)

Poppycock! I won't allow you to deminish the work of
the great modern authors by saying they stole! Why, I
could write a play just as good as Hamlet if I wanted
to! And it would be all my own, original work. From
HERE!!!
(pointing to his mind, a bit crazily)
WAITER
(disbelieving, and a little
uncomfortable at FAULKNER's outrage)
Uh, yes sir, indeed. What'll you have then?
FAULKNER
A scotch. And I don't want to see the bottom of that
glass, do you understand me? Tonight I am celebrating
the completion of my manuscript.
WAITER
Sir.
exit WAITER
FAULKNER
there's a bold lad, flaunting Shakespeare as the
greatest writer to ever live, as if he were a relative
blabbering about a young nephew.
enter WAITER with a glass of scotch and a bottle
on a tray.
WAITER
here you go sir. I trust you will be able to poor to
your own desire.
FAULKNER
yes indeed, thank you.
exit WAITER
Scene 2
Faulkner is passed out on the same table. William
Shakespeare is now also writing on the table.
FAULKNER
(waking up from being passed out)
ugghh.... wha... ugg
(head falls back into a slumber)
SHAKESPEARE
well this just won't do. for how ought I to continue
with this slumbering bafoon occupying my desk.
(begins to wake FAULKNER)
now good man, thy time has long past to undrink
thyself, and remove thyself from my desk.
2
FAULKNER
(slowly waking up)
why, now what in the hell is this? I was here enjoying
myself and now you are rustling me around like a child.
SHAKESPEARE
why sir, thy dialect is something strange. from where
doest thou hail?
FAULKNER
well exactly, what in the hell are you doing to me?
leave me be!
SHAKESPEARE
'twere as though an infant hath descended from heaving
in the body of a man. A foul smelling man at that.
Why, sir, dost thou know who I am?
FAULKNER
an INFANT?!? I don't care who you are!
SHAKESPEARE
why, tis thy blessing to be in the presence of William
Shakespeare, and I, my good man, am entitled with a
sense of duty as to teach thee how to properly speak.
For thou hast corrupted this language far enough, and I
wilt that thou shoulds't learn how a learned man
speaketh.
FAULKNER
(looking around and realizing he is no
longer in the bar)
Shakespeare?? Where am I?
SHAKESPEARE
An idiot indeed, my fellow, it is the year XXXX of our
lovely QUEEN/KING XXXXXXXXXXX. And thus, I must teach
thee how to read and write so as to make a decent
creature of thee.
(All the while FAULKNER is curiously
looking at the bottle of scotch still in
this hand)
FAULKNER
OH! You think YOU can teach ME, William Faulkner, how
to speak and write! Well let me tell you a thing or two
Billy, I am a fine writer no thanks to you, and I
intend on finding my way back home immediatly to see
the publication of my latest manuscript through.
However, it seems I am out of scotch, so if you could
point me in the direction of the nearest bar.. or as
y'all call it, a pub, i will be on my way.
SHAKESPEARE
Why my compadre, thou cans't flee as the passing wind,
3
yet stay awhile and we will study the language
together. For whatsoever I teachest thou, thou must in
return teach me.
FAULKNER
well, so long as you get me to a pub after...
SHAKESPEARE
as thou so sayest it shall be done.
FAULKNER
well, i need to sober up a bit
(lays his head back and falls back
asleep.)
Scene 3
FAULKNER and SHAKESPEARE are sitting at the table
with paper sprawled on the table. Pens are in
each of their hands.
SHAKESPEARE
My good sir, albeit you have shimmers of talent, why
doest thou insist that the story be retold time and
time again. For a story is a living creature of its
own. Just as with living creatures each beast and fowl
is unique in its own way. And to attempt to duplicate
a creature that has found its own individual beauty
would be nothing more than to kill it unnecessarily. A
slaughter if you will, taking the life of the innocent.
FAULKNER
Well I would have to disagree with you on this one
bud. I think the retelling of the story from the
perspective of different characters is what creates the
fiber of the story. It allows the reader to see it in
it's entirety, and to understand better the motives and
desires of each individual character. To me it is what
makes my work great.
SHAKESPEARE
Well true as thou mayest find it, I would have to
happily disagree with you. I suppose a stubborn lad as
yourself won't be keen to much discussion on the
matter, and thus I find it prudent to dissolve the
matter entirely. On to the next, know read this
manuscript of mine and I tempt thee to find one error